Making the Most of Parent-Teacher Conferences
May 19, 2009
What's the worst that can happen at a parent-teacher conference?
Sarah Shelton, a fourth grade teacher in the Boston suburbs, cringes to remember some awkward moments.
In her first year, after fielding nearly weekly phone calls from a parent on homework and classroom issues, it was time for the end-of-the-year conference. All of a sudden, Shelton says, "she totally opened up to me in a way that was really inappropriate." The mother brought up a family history of mental illness, her depression medication, and her marital problems.
"That was really hard and uncomfortable," Shelton, now 27, recalls. "We're supposed to be talking about your kids!"
But even if some meetings go awry, Shelton says she really values the chance to meet parents. "My teaching gets better after conferences," she says. "They force you to focus on each child in a way that you hadn't before."
"When you meet their parents and see how loved they are," she continues, "you remember that this is someone's child. Someone loves this child more than anyone in the world, and it reminds you to take a little bit of that love."
With that in mind, Shelton says it's important to always balance every negative with a positive. Some administrators say it's even better is to balance every negative with at least five positives.
Shelton says she always tries to suggest a plan to help work with the child on any difficulties. Recently she spoke with the parents of a student who is very smart, but very stubborn. He refuses to work unless he feels invested in the outcome. Together, Shelton and the parents hatched a special project: "He loves computers so we came up with the idea, why don't we make him an expert." They asked him to make an information pamphlet to share with his classmates, and Shelton says he's hard at work.
With only a limited time to talk to many parents, teachers have to make sure each conference is as focused as possible. To maximize the meeting-time, Shelton sends home a questionnaire ahead of time, so she can prepare.
Robin McClure, a mother of three who writes a childcare column at childcare.about.com, says careful preparation is a must. "The best parent-teacher conferences are ones where a teacher has prepared a folder to be able to show parents concrete examples of where a child is academically," she says.
Both women say it is very important to avoid talking about classmates. When a child does something wrong, parents will sometimes dig to find out if another student was involved and how they were punished. But McClure, who has worked in school administration for more than a decade, says you cannot discuss somebody else's child. "Even though it can make some parents angry, teachers have to have on their best smile when they tell a parent that privacy laws govern disciplinary matters and details about other students, but that they certainly can talk about their child to them."
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COMMENTS
If the lines of communication are open, with information flowing regularly, and not just at conference-time, then parents should have a good idea of what's going on in the classroom. And information should go both ways. How can parents most help teachers do the best for their kids?
Leave your response in the comments below.
